April 2, 2014

Aha! A real post! Sort of…

On food poisoning…

Food poisoning should be illegal somehow. Instead of spending a day in workplace productivity at All-Sports and the Fort Collins Bike Co-op I got to spend the day in bed trying to convince myself every ten or fifteen minutes that I wasn’t actually going to die today. At least not from this. At 11:12pm Mountain Standard Time I feel slightly victorious.

Slightly. I have eaten part of a sleeve of crackers. I have consumed a couple of pint sized glasses of Emergen’C. I have had a lot of water. I even tried a little peanut butter. So far everything is staying down, but my memories of this morning are far too vivid.

If you’ve had food poisoning you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t: imagine vomiting so incredibly out-of-controllably that you become concerned that your actual stomach might just come up with everything else. Or maybe at the end of its contents. Then shaking like a leaf for the rest of the day because you’re so incredibly spent that your body has started to consume calories it didn’t actually know it had before the reaction to the food-borne pathogens began.

This whole time you’re completely unable to be further away from a toilet than about ten feet or fifteen seconds, whichever is faster. Thank goodness for my kind roommate Miriam, who was willing to get me crackers on her way home from work tonight so that I could put SOMETHING into this completely angry system.

So far. I’m still skeptical.

My cat curled up against me all afternoon, and is now as well after a brief break to eat and regroup herself. She feels the need to curl up to me when she thinks I am seriously ill. (She’s usually right on the diagnosis.) She stretches her entire body against mine when she gets really concerned for my life. Since there was no stretching against today I feel I don’t have to worry too greatly about my health. I feel like she’s a pretty good barometer.

Otherwise I am tentatively enjoying my reentry into the world of the living. I feel really bad that my colleagues at work had to pickup slack for me especially at All-Sports, where our very very busy season is beginning. I actually had some terrible dreams last night about having enough time to laser coasters for one of our clients. I think this was being contributed to by the onset of food poisoning but my concerns definitely revolve around work these days, as it is getting very busy now at the co-op as well.

So I am hopeful that it will all work out. And I am confident in my skills and my training…so long as it isn’t compromised by horrible little pathogens that grow on foods and didn’t get washed off, but ended up in my intestinal tract instead.

There’s only one upside. Around 3pm today my personal guilt and my mother-induced guilt collided and basically screamed at me: “GET. INSURANCE. NOW!!!” So I did. I got onto ConnectforColorado.com which worked…ish…could use some consultant help, really, but anyway, I was able to get some assistance with a wonderful support agent, which was truly quite fantastic.

And I got insurance. Which is great. I have all the jobs, and NOT homeless peoples’ insurance anymore. It’s pretty cool. And without severe food poisoning I don’t think I would be able to get insurance. Certainly not today.

Thanks for reading.


I'm a writer living in Northern Colorado. I also help run the front of the house for the Fort Collins Bike Co-op. I have two cool roommates and a snorey cat. I love my life.

Posted in Blog
One comment on “April 2, 2014
  1. Debra says:

    So sorry to hear you were sick. Nothing feels worse than food poisoning I am sure.
    More people die every year from tainted food than from the 9-11 attacks. Maybe we should send homeland security out to all the factory farms.

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