Grrrr…AWWWW!!….grrrr…

I remember watching my ex-boyfriend’s son go from crying, to laughing, to playing, to getting frustrated, to crying all over again, in the space of about ninety seconds. While rejecting a dinner I’d made for him, in which I was very very careful to hide the vegetables I’d snuck in under ample cheese and tomato sauce.

I think of this sometimes when I get upset and crunchy, and then suddenly something happens and I am happy again, and then I get tangled up in crunchiness. It’s really easy for me to get caught in the attitude that nothing will ever change, especially if I’m feeling down or upset or pissed off. And then I start plotting a vengeful blog post about Wal-Mart bicycles or the culture of convenience or the horrific brown slave labor employed to make clothes to sell cheaply to rich white people or red cups…

…you get the point. And I’ll be ready to go off my nut and start blathering horrific putrid slime about all of the horrible things and how terrible the human race is and what a lousy species we are and how did we ever make our way to the top and then as I am plotting my angry wah-wah-wahhhhh post I wander upstairs to get some juice and I am stopped in my tracks by the cat who sleeps on her head…

roo_head_110915

…and somehow even in the middle of all of the chaos I am creating between my ears I am incapable of feeling anything but adoration for this little creature who I’ve housed and fed and cared for going on fifteen years now. I am astounded at her sweet little cat-ness, her entirely feline ability to level me, to sweep aside all of my revolting thoughts and make me go “Awwwww…”

But they’re still there, and they always will be, so I snap the cat who sleeps on her head with my phone and download it -I have taken a variation of this picture at least 600 times- so I can stick it here and maybe elsewhere too. Maybe I can blow it up poster-size so that when the Donald Trumps and Wal-Mart CEOs and red cup dramas of the world start edging in I can just look up and get a little relief.

Probably not, though. So grrr for now. I think I’ll go find that cat and see if snuggling improves my crunchiness…

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I'm a writer living in Northern Colorado. I also help run the front of the house for the Fort Collins Bike Co-op. I have two cool roommates and a snorey cat. I love my life.

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